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Movie Review: 'Snow White' is no poisoned apple but it doesn't whistle

Mirror mirror on the wall, what’s the fairest Disney live-action remake of them all? Wait, mirror. Hold on a second. Maybe choosing from the likes of “Alice in Wonderland” (2010), “Mulan” (2020) and “The Lion King" (2019) isn’t such a good idea.
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This image released by Disney shows Rachel Zegler in a scene from "Snow White." (Disney via AP)

Mirror mirror on the wall, what’s the fairest Disney live-action remake of them all?

Wait, mirror. Hold on a second. Maybe choosing from the likes of “Alice in Wonderland” (2010), “Mulan” (2020) and “The Lion King" (2019) isn’t such a good idea. Mirror, on second thought, what’s on Netflix?

Even the most devoted fans would have to acknowledge that these have not been the most illustrious illustrations of Disney magic. At their best (“Pete’s Dragon”? “Cinderella”?) they breathe life into old classics that could use a little updating. At their worst, well, blue Will Smith.

Given the rapacious rate of remakes in modern Hollywood, it’s remarkable that it’s taken nearly 90 years for Disney to return to “Snow White.” It means going back to the very foundation of the Mouse House. The 1937 “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” was Disney’s first animated feature; its grosses paid for the studio’s Burbank lot.

That legacy of “Snow White,” by comparison, doesn’t do any favors to Marc Webb’s inevitably lesser, inert live-action retread. Good intentions, like swirling bluebirds, flutter through this “Snow White”: to give its singing protagonist ( Rachel Zegler ) more agency; to expand that notion of “fair” beyond skin tone; to reframe that problematic prince. But all that updating adds up to a mishmash of a fable, caught in between now and once upon a time.

It wouldn’t be an earthshattering observation to note that a 1930s cartoon, let alone a 19th century German folk tale, might not be entirely in line with contemporary culture. Most of these Disney live-action remakes have carried with them more than a few notes of correction and atonement for the past — a laudable goal that means a generation of kids might not need a brief history lesson to go along with an old classic.

But it’s a tricky thing reworking a fable that’s been around two centuries, and that’s doubly true when leaping from the two-dimensional fantasy realm of animation to the more complicated land of flesh and bone. Webb’s “Snow White” has been a veritable case study for the headaches that can arise when a window into the real world is cracked open. Everything from Israel's war in Gaza (Zegler and her co-star Gal Gadot, who plays the wicked stepmother, have differing opinions), the humanity of little people (there’s a reason “and the Seven Dwarfs” has been stripped from the title) and the alleged “woke”-ness of the production have been fuel for what we can gently refer to as online debate.

Despite some gloriously lush production design, “Snow White” — innocent of most of those backlashes though not all — can’t quite thread the needle. Even the new songs (by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul) that are good ("Waiting on a Wish") struggle to fit in alongside old standbys. Zegler does a spirited job remaking a classic Disney princess into a more modern woman; when she sings, the movie gets a lift. The last thing that's wrong with this “Snow White” is Zegler's casting.

But like scaffolding that's been left up too long, the strain of renovation shows in Webb’s film, particularly in its awkward handling of Dopey, Sneezy and company. The seven dwarfs, like the fawns and squirrels, are rendered in CGI. You could argue that this acknowledges the artificiality of a dated and offensive trope. But it also gives “Snow White” an uncanny quality, with all human characters but the dwarfs being played by real people. As if to Band-Aid over this, one of the woodsmen is played by an actor of short stature (George Appleby) whose presence seems like yet another atonement, only one for this “Snow White,” not 1937’s.

You might be thinking: But what about the movie? The problem with “Snow White” is that you never stop thinking about these much-strategized and sometimes superficial efforts to recontextualize the original movie. Erin Cressida Wilson's screenplay remakes Snow White's story as less a princess awaiting her Prince Charming (the song “Someday My Prince Will Come" has been jettisoned) than an heir to a throne who loses her gumption. Though taught as a child to be “fair” as a leader by her father king (Hadley Fraser), Snow White has lost any ambition by the time Gadot's Evil Queen takes over the kingdom.

Gadot sinks her teeth into the Evil Queen, a spikey, slinky villain who moves with a metallic rustle (the costumes are by Sandy Powell). But she feels cut off from the movie, without the lines that would elevate her flamboyant performance into something memorable. The prince has been altogether scrubbed; instead Andrew Burnap plays the blandly cocksure bandit Jonathan who encourages Snow White not to wait for her father's rescue.

Presumably one of the reasons to bring actors into remakes of animated classics would be to add a warm-blooded pulse to these characters. Zegler manages that, but everyone else in “Snow White” — mortal or CGI — is as stiff as could be. You're left glumly scorekeeping the updates — one win here, a loss there — while pondering why, regardless of the final tally, recapturing the magic of long ago is so elusive.

“Snow White,” a Walt Disney Co. release is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association for violence, some peril, thematic elements and brief rude humor. Running time: 109 minutes. Two stars out of four.

Jake Coyle, The Associated Press