When the decision to run for re-election to Bowen’s municipal council came around two years ago, Rob Wynen had determined he’d had enough.
“It was time to hang up my hat and let some new people come into it. When you know you know, and you don’t want to hang on too long,” said Wynen, who completed his four-year term in 2022.
“I honest to God love talking to people. I’ll go to the ferry and seek out people to talk about issues,” he says, explaining that the sometimes difficult scenario of being a small-town politician was never a concern for him. “My biggest challenge was that it’s always on your mind… they (council decisions) really eat at me and really stressed me out big time.”
So, stepping aside from the council agendas and committee meetings, Wynen set his sights on a new title – at least in terms of how it’s spelled. He began a program at Rhodes Wellness College to become a professional counsellor, an undertaking which now sees him offering his services out of Bowen Island Integrated Health. Rob previously had a 30-year career in kinesiology, but decided it was time to make a switch and explore the mental side of healthcare.
The course focused on experiential learning, which allowed Wynen to begin counselling right on Bowen while pursuing his degree. His student home was the same as his now-professional home, at Integrated Health in the Cove.
Rob explains that both the physical and emotional settings of a counselling session are important, and being able to stay on the island is helpful in this task.
“You want to really create a space where people can let down those guards… What sets counsellors apart is their ability to create an environment where the client can feel like they can just let it out,” he says.
Wynen focused on a pair of main topics in his studies, one of them being men’s mental health. He says that while stigmas surround men going to therapy have improved, it remains a major barrier to many seeking help. “I think a lot of guys feel like I need to tough this out… asking for help is sometimes looked at as asking for sympathy and guys don’t want sympathy.”
“So a lot of guys are just bottling this up and they don’t really know how to express emotions. They’re not expressing their emotions and most of them don’t even know what an emotion is,” he says.
Wynen warns that emotions shouldn’t be something you try to repress, and neither should being open about past experiences that continue to manifest themselves in the present day. “You should actually be curious about your emotions and see them as insight into yourself instead of things to fight off.”
“So much of this is ingrained from your background and you carry it forward,” says Rob, adding that it’s “important to recognize these are the patterns that have been going on for me for a long time, and I’m bringing them forward and they’re not serving me anymore. So how can I start changing some of these patterns in a safe way?... Let’s work with that and work with guys navigating that.”
Wynen’s other area of focus is what he describes as “midlife transitions”, substituting the phrase for the more wellknown descriptor – but Rob says also the more negative – of ‘midlife crisis’.
“It doesn’t need to be a crisis… It’s change and change is uncomfortable… A lot of people are just like, is this it?” he says of the age period generally covering 45 to 65-year olds.
“Why am I not happy? I’m living on Bowen, the sun’s out, eagles are flying overhead. What do I need? I think everybody goes through this. It’s tough… you’re just left there confused and frustrated, you start beating yourself up about it, and then you wind up living the rest of your days not happy and fulfilled.”
Wynen says this doesn’t need to be anyone’s fate as they enter the middle period of their life. As someone who falls into that age category, he’s excited to explore how people are navigating through the transition, and offer insights into his own journey through this stage. Most importantly, he wants people to know they’re not alone if they are feeling these emotions.
It’s a point which Rob especially wishes to emphasize in all of his counselling sessions; validation that mental health issues are not uncommon or unique among people. “This is normal, of course you’re feeling this way. This is what happened, and this is a natural response to that,” he explains. “It’s not something to be ashamed of, or to judge yourself about.”
“We can be so unkind to ourselves. Well, how am I going to be kind to others if I can’t even give that to myself?” he adds.
Rob spent part of the summer hosting workshops on Bowen including at the Library and Children’s Centre. This month he was a guest at the Rotary Speaker Series where he talked about his views on midlife transitions. As he settles into his new role, Wynen says he’s happy he took a chance on something new.
“Every session I come out of it feels great. What I enjoy the most is that people are allowing me into a part of their lives that nobody else ever enters… I know people wouldn’t do that if there wasn’t a trust-based relationship happening,” he says.
“A lot of times people will come in and go, God I didn’t even know what to talk about. And we’ll end up talking right to the end. Once they get going, there’s lots to talk about.”
Wynen invites anyone interested in talking to reach out to Integrated Health to see if counselling is right for them.
